1. Life Is Hard

From the recording On The Record

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Life Is Hard
Mona Lisa was just hanging out
Wonderin’ what the fuss was all about
She said “Don’t even try to guess what I think
I’m tired of being framed and I wish I could blink
Life is hard and life ain’t fair
I could tell you what I’ve seen but you wouldn’t even care All you people ever do is stand around and stare
Yeah life is hard”
Venus de Milo was standing around with a friend
He was hinting at seduction, she was having none of it
She told him “I appreciate your intent
But if you’d look past my chest you would see I just can’t
Life is hard and life ain’t fair
I would grab more opportunities, maybe throw caution to the air But I can’t hold on to nothin’ - I can’t even comb my hair
Yeah life is hard”
B: When you’re feeling kinda lowly and you don’t know what to do All this mean old world seems to deal you is the blues
The dealer keeps sending you an unplayable hand
You can’t fold, you can’t call, and you can’t understand
Why life ain’t fair and life is hard, but
Now is not the time to let down your guard
‘Cause the deck is full of Jokers and you got to draw a card Yeah life is hard
David on his pedestal, cold as a stone
Wishing he had a little something to put on
He said “Praises of my form are universally sung
But I wish ol’ Mike had rendered me more generously hung
Life is hard and life ain’t fair
Stuck here for the ages and all the world to bear
Witness to my manhood - In Homeric Proportion, true, but I care! Yeah, life is hard
I’d really rather be on a beach somewhere
With a little Italian sculptress wearing flowers in her hair
And a teeny little bikini that’s just barely there
I’d settle for just ten minutes in a chair
Yeah life is hard”